


Happy To Be Found

by MoonlitMusings



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reunion Fic, heavy on the comfort, this is honestly just four chapters of these dorks figuring out how to talk about their feelings, written before the finale obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-25 20:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17732027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlitMusings/pseuds/MoonlitMusings
Summary: It's been a long year for Juno Steel. A long year of pain, and learning, and growing, and letting go of the past, even when it tried to claw its way back. But there's one thing he hasn't let go of. One person, who he left alone in a dark hotel room that year and some months ago, who he hasn't seen since. Someone he owes an apology, he thinks.It's been a long year for Peter Nureyev. A long year of running, just like he always has. Running from the law, from his enemies, from his past. Running from the memory of a broken promise and an empty bed. He's tried to move on in every way he can think of, and he's just starting to resign himself to the idea that he's going to have a certain detective stuck in his head forever when he gets a message from a contact on Mars. One passed on for said detective. Well. He never really believed the universe gave second chances, but maybe his surly PI does.Juno and Peter do something that they're long overdue for. They have a talk.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to give a massive thank you to everyone involved in the mini-bang. You've all been so lovely and helpful and I've loved doing this with all of you. And a couple special shout outs to Karin and Bri who organized this whole thing and are both amazing, wonderful human beings, and to my art partner Micha (@queenkamukura on tumblr), who did some absolutely _spectacular_ art for this fic that I've linked at the end.
> 
> Title is from Dan Barry's song Found, which I would highly recommend listening to.

_And I'm happy to be seen  
And I'm happy to be found_

\----------------------------------------

"So, I hear you have a favor to ask me."

"Yeah. What's it gonna cost me?"

Vicky blinked at him from her seat behind her desk. Juno hadn’t really planned to visit her office again anytime soon after the last time, but, well, he wasn’t sure where else to go.

"Depends on what it is. Must be important, though, if you're willing to jump straight into payment."

"I..." Juno hesitated. "It is, yeah."

"Well?" Vicky said after a long moment. "What is it? Spit it out."

“I know you’re still keeping a low profile, but there’s someone I need you to contact for me. Do you remember that guy you called for me after I helped you out with Ingrid? The one who knew about ancient Martian artifacts?"

Vicky winced slightly at Ingrid's name, but nodded. "Yeah, I remember him. Why? Looking to track something down?"

"Just him," Juno replied. "We uh... we have some unfinished business."

"Oh?" Vicky quirked an eyebrow. "What kind of business?"

"None of yours," Juno shot back with a scowl.

"I'd say it is my business if I'm helping you out with it."

Juno growled. "Look, it's personal, alright? Just drop it."

"Personal, huh? Knew he was your type."

"I- what?! No, I- What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means he was good-looking and seemed like the kind of guy who could put a knife between your ribs before you had the chance to blink if he felt like it. So... what? You want me to call him back here or something?"

Juno just stood there, opening and closing his mouth for a few seconds while he tried to figure out how to respond. Eventually he groaned and ran a hand over his face.

"Not call him back here. Just... give him a message for me."

"Well?" Vicky asked after a long moment. "What is it?"

"Aren't you gonna write it down or something?"

Vicky rolled her eyes. "Uuugh. Fine. So picky." She pulled out a notepad and a pen before looking back up at him. "There. Now what's this important message?"

"Tell him..." Juno hesitated, then sighed. "Tell him that Dahlia says he's sorry. He knows he messed up, and he's regretted it ever since. And he'd understand if he's mad and never wants to see him again. He’s earned that, honestly. But if he ever wants to talk..." Juno paused as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper, handing it over to Vicky. "If he ever wants to talk, he can call that number, and the window's unlocked."

"...That it?" Vicky asked, a bit more quietly.

"That's it," Juno confirmed. "Just pass that along to him, let me know when you do, and I'll give you whatever payment you're asking."

Vicky stared at him for a long moment with a look in her eyes that he wasn't too fond of. It was too soft. Especially coming from her.

"No charge."

Now _that_ caught him off-guard.

"What?"

"No charge. You've done plenty for me over the years, Steel. And I can tell when something's important. You really care about this guy, huh?"

Juno hesitated before looking away. "I do. And I messed up, Vic. I messed up big time."

"Yeah, you do that." Juno was about to offer a sarcastic _"Gee, thanks,"_ when she added, "So does everyone else. That's what people do. They mess up, and depending on the kind of person they are and how much it matters to them, they try to fix it. Hell, sometimes it even works." She put a hand on Juno's shoulder. "I hope it works out for you, Steel."

"I... yeah. Yeah, me too. Thanks, Vic."

"Anytime, Steel." Juno got up and walked toward the door. "Just don't expect a freebie the next time," Vicky added.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Juno called back over his shoulder, offering a wave before he walked out the door.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a long time since Peter had heard from anyone on Mars. He didn't have a lot of contacts there to begin with and, well, he hadn't exactly been active there recently. Or on the planets near there. Or in that solar system. He had hoped that if he went far enough out, he could escape the almost physical pull he felt to go back to Mars. To Hyperion City. To... Well. It didn't matter now. He'd managed to stay away for over a year, distracting himself in all the best ways he could think of. Bigger jobs with bigger risks and higher rewards. Pretty, charming people he could use to distract himself, or rob blind, or both. Grandiose hotels and extravagant meals and luxurious clothes. A whirlwind of thrills and pleasures. And none of them nearly enough to stop his mind from wandering back to a certain detective on a certain red planet, and a certain hotel room where he'd woken up alone. None of it was enough to get Peter Nureyev, now awoken after so long lying dormant, to melt away completely beneath the masks like he had before.

All of which is to say that when Peter, or rather when Kingsley Umber, got a message from one Valles Vicky, he was surprised. Surprised, and a bit disappointed. Vicky had been a good contact. It would be a shame to turn her down. But needs must, and Peter Nureyev needed to stay away from Mars. He was a man of his word, after all. Apparently. He kept his promises, even if other people weren't so... courteous.

Except... it wasn't a job offer.

_“Hey Umber,_

_You were never one for pleasantries, and neither am I, so I'll cut to the chase. I'm sending this as a favor to a friend who wanted to get in touch but didn't know where to find you. Wanted me to pass along a message, so here it is.”_

What followed sent Kingsley's entire personality flying out the window, leaving Peter Nureyev sitting on the hotel bed in shock. He read the message. Read it again. Read it so many times that he almost missed Vicky's aside at the bottom.

_”Listen, I know it's not my business, and I don't know what my friend did to you, but he's good people. He's an ass sometimes, but still better than most guys you're gonna find in this city, deep down. And he's serious about apologizing. I could tell. If you don't wanna contact him again, well, I can't blame you. He probably earned it. But I just felt like I needed to put my two creds in._

_Also, let me know when you get this. I promised my friend I would let him know when you did._

_-V”_

As though she needed to tell him that Juno was “good people.” The lady was a shining beacon of hope in a cold universe. The person who reminded Peter of himself. Of who he'd wanted to be so long ago. Back before it all fell apart.

He re-read the note.

Dahlia. Was there a reason he'd used that name? Was it merely a convenient pseudonym, or something more? Because in Peter's mind at least, it was eternally part of a set. Dahlia and Duke. Duke and Dahlia. You couldn't have one without the other. There had to be some meaning there, didn't there? Something to the fact that out of all the ways Juno could have referred to himself, he used _that_ name.

But...

But Peter was getting ahead of himself. He wasn't even sure what Juno wanted. Not really. He had hopes, of course. It sounded like Juno wanted to reconcile. But what if Peter was reading too much into it? What if he just wanted to apologize? To give him closure? After all, he didn't actually say what he regretted. Was it walking out? Or was it simply not saying goodbye? Or worse, did he regret saying he would go with him to begin with? Perhaps he simply wanted to apologize for leading Peter on. For playing along even after realizing that he wasn't interested in staying with someone so dangerous. Someone who had put him through so much. Peter supposed he did owe him that, at least - an apology for denying him some kind of closure. For leaving him hurting and obsessing and running all these long months. But at the same time, he wasn't sure he could take it. He wasn't sure he could talk to Juno again, see him again, only to get an apology and be sent away.

Peter stopped. He took a breath. He took another. He needed to calm himself down.

Prionsa Quartz picked up his hotel room's tablet and ordered himself a nice meal through room service. He opened the mini-fridge, opened a mini bottle of gin, and drank it in one go. He opened another and did the same. He walked back to the bed and sat down. He turned on the tv and started flipping through channels while he waited for his food to arrive. He felt calm. Relaxed. Prionsa usually did.

Peter Nureyev needed time to compose himself. Time to think about how he was going to respond. So for tonight, Prionsa was going to eat a nice dinner, and relax, and prepare for his upcoming heist in a few days. He did not know anyone named Peter Nureyev, or Juno Steel, or Dahlia or Duke Rose, and therefore their problems were not his. Peter Nureyev was going to let himself hide away in another man's skin until this job was done. And then, with a little more time and perspective, he would make a decision. Just... not quite yet.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juno didn't hear back from Vicky that the message had been delivered until the night after he went to see her. When he hadn’t heard anything a week after that, he’d begun to think the whole thing might have been a mistake. After two weeks, he’d started to resign himself to the fact that it wasn’t gonna happen, and tried to console himself with the fact that he’d managed to apologize, if nothing else, and that was really what this was about anyways, right? And even if he did hear back, what did he expect to happen? There was no way Nureyev was just gonna come running back with open arms, after all. Honestly, even just a short message saying “apology accepted” was more than he really deserved.

It was those thoughts that kept him company for another week.

At the end of the third week, the comms rang.

It wasn’t his normal comms. He had picked up a burner and had Rita hack and modify it to hell and back to be extremely secure. Probably excessively secure to be honest, but hey, better safe than sorry. He was at the office when it rang, which he was glad for. It would have been just his luck for Nureyev to call when he was in the middle of chasing someone down. But no, he was in his office. Alone, even. Rita had already gone home for the evening. It was almost suspiciously perfect.

He stared at the comms in disbelief for a few rings before he snapped out of his thoughts and grabbed for it, fumbling for a moment before answering.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Juno.”

The screen was kind of grainy, and the sound wasn’t great, but it was him. His smooth, familiar voice, and his lovely face, and his bright eyes, although those were contrasted against the dark circles now visible beneath them. He looked more tired in general, like the past year or so had been rough on him. Juno knew the feeling.

Juno realized he’d been staring.

“I uh... I see you got my message.”

“I did, yes. I was... surprised. To hear from you.”

“Yeah, I kinda surprised myself by sending it. I just... I thought I owed you an apology. It was a dick move, walking out on you like that. I just... I couldn’t...”

“You don’t have to explain,” Nureyev cut in. “Thank you for the apology, but I understand. I should have known when I asked you to come with me that, well... After everything I put you through, I don’t blame you for not wanting to leave with me.”

Juno blinked.

“What? What do you mean, everything you put me through?”

Nureyev’s expression shifted into a rueful smile. “Don’t try to spare my feelings, Juno. I got you involved with Miasma. I didn’t get the pill before you could find it. I nearly got you killed multiple times, got you kidnapped, imprisoned, _tortured,_ and when I escaped I didn’t even bring you with me. And when I came back, you were almost killed again. You were ready to sacrifice yourself to save me. And your eye... No, Juno. I don’t blame you for not wanting to come with me. Not when I let all of that happen to you. I would have preferred if you had told me, said goodbye, at least. I am still upset with you for that. But I don’t blame you for leaving.” Nureyev’s eyes drifted away from the screen. Juno just stared.

“Have you lost your mind?”

Nureyev’s head snapped up, confused. “What?”

“Nureyev, none of that was your fault. Well, most of it wasn’t, anyways. You didn't get me involved with Miasma. Sure, you tried to steal the mask, but Min’s the one who wrote my name on the wall, and I'm the one kept looking into the artifacts. I’m the idiot that decided to swallow the damn pill. I didn’t keep Miasma from catching us either. And _you_ ended up getting tortured because she could tell I... And you _came back for me._ You left, but you came back and got me out. And locking myself in with the bomb... that wasn’t on you, Nureyev. That was all me. I didn’t leave because I thought you were, were too much trouble or something!”

“Then... why did you?”

Some of the wind fell from Juno’s sails. Suddenly, he really didn’t want to have this conversation. Sure, he was trying to get better about opening up, but, well, that didn’t mean it wasn’t still hard. He swallowed.

“I thought you’d be better off without me,” he admitted quietly. “I kept telling myself over and over that you could do better. _Deserved_ better. That I would just weigh you down. And I... I thought I would just screw it up, in the end. I was sure of it. I... I’ve never been good at this kind of thing, Nureyev. And...” He took a deep breath, looking away from the screen. “And I didn’t want to leave with you, only to have you realize somewhere down the road that it had been a mistake. That _I’d_ been a mistake. I couldn’t... I couldn’t take that.” After a long, silent moment, he looked back at the screen, and the look on Peter’s face was so tender it hurt.

“Juno...” he murmured. He shook his head slightly, wiping his eyes and letting out a small, watery sigh. “We really are a couple of fools, aren’t we?”

Juno sighed in return. “Yeah, yeah we are.”

There was a long silence after that, filled with a fragile hope that they were both afraid would break along with the silence if either of them spoke. Juno bit his lip and glanced at the comms screen. Nureyev’s eyes seemed a little brighter, though his expression was slightly nervous. Juno swallowed.

“How... how have you been?” he finally managed. Not exactly to the point, but at least he’d said _something._ Peter looked slightly confused at the change of subject, but quickly collected himself.

“Oh, I’ve been alright. Keeping busy.”

“Oh yeah? Steal any priceless art lately?” Juno asked with a small smile. Peter smirked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I wouldn’t, actually, but I'm sure there’s there’s plenty of people out there who would.”

“Well, I suppose they’ll just have to live with the mystery.” Peter’s smile softened. “And yourself? How have you been?”

Juno’s expression turned thoughtful, and he was quiet for a long moment.

“Better,” he finally said. “I’m doing better.”

“I’m glad,” Peter replied in that quiet, earnest way of his that made Juno's chest feel tight. He’d missed that feeling.

“Yeah. Me too.”

Another pause. This time, Peter broke the silence.

“Juno...” he started, “I appreciate you contacting me. I really do. And I’m grateful to get to see you again. To talk to you.”

Juno tensed. He could feel a “but" coming up. A “but this was enough for me.” A “but please don’t contact me again.” He was so caught up in his fears, that he nearly missed what Nureyev actually said.

“What?”

Peter seemed to shrink back slightly. “I understand if you don’t want to, of course. I simply thought it might be nice, since I’m not terribly far away. A few days’ travel. A week, at most. I... I think we have a lot to talk about, and I would really rather do it in person. I could treat you to lunch, if you like.” His weak smile hurt a bit, but Juno was too shocked to really process it.

“You... you want to come see me again?”

“I do.”

It was amazing, how two short words said so softly could take Juno’s breath away.

“I... I’d like that.”

“You would?”

“Yeah. I'd like that a lot.”

Peter’s smile grew brighter, warming Juno like a fire being lit, or a sunrise.

“Wonderful. Should I call you when I get back into town?”

“Sure, yeah. Or...”

“...Or?”

“Or I could pick you up from the space port. If you need a ride.”

Peter paused for a moment. “Well, that depends.” His smile turned mischievous. “Do you still have that death trap of a car?”

Juno laughed. “I do. If you wanna get a cab instead I wouldn’t blame you.”

Peter chuckled. “Oh, I suppose it’ll be fine. If it hasn't burst into flames yet it will probably hold up for another week.”

“Oh, another two, at least.”

Peter laughed again, and damn if it didn’t do things to Juno, being able to make Peter laugh like that after everything.

“Well in that case, shall I message you with the date and time of my arrival once I buy the ticket?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” The conversation lulled, and they both realized it was coming to a reluctant end.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you again, Juno,” Peter finally said, quietly.

“I’m looking forward to it too,” Juno replied, just as quiet. “I... I missed you, you know,” he added, before he had the chance to second guess himself.

Peter smiled, small and soft. “I missed you too. Goodnight, Juno.”

“Goodnight, Nureyev.”

They both sat for a moment, reluctant to hang up, but eventually Peter moved, and the screen went dark. Juno sighed and put the comms in his pocket before gathering up his things and heading home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the link to that wonderful art that I seriously love just, so much. You have no idea.  
> https://queenkamukura.tumblr.com/post/182716228765/its-penumbrabang-time-i-was-paired-up-with-the


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Juno and Peter see each other in person again, and neither of them are nervous about it at all. Nope. Not even a little, they swear.

Juno paced back and forth by the baggage claims with his hands shoved in his pockets. He clenched them into fists and unclenched them, over and over. His jaw was tense. He worried at his lip with his teeth.

He wasn’t nervous at all. Why would you ask?

He wasn't nervous, waiting for Nureyev to arrive. Nervous about seeing him in person again. About the idea that Nureyev was coming to Mars specifically to see him. He wasn’t trying to ignore the voice in the back of his head that said Nureyev wasn’t coming. That he hadn’t actually boarded the ship, or that he had but he was just going to slip away without Juno seeing him, carefully avoiding him after changing his mind. Juno wasn’t torn between desperately scanning the crowd and staring at his feet, trying to calm himself down. And when he looked up and caught Peter’s eye across the crowded lobby, his breath definitely didn’t catch in his throat.

Or maybe it did, just a little. Just because of the smile that bloomed across Peter’s face when he saw him. A lady can only take so much.

Peter walked up to him. “Hello, Juno.”

“Hey, Nur- uh... you.”

Peter chuckled. “Balder, at the moment. Balder Lace.”

Juno nodded. “Well, Mr. Lace, where am I taking you?”

Peter smirked. “To my hotel, first, if you don’t mind. I’d like to freshen up a bit and drop off my things.”

“Alright,” Juno replied, glancing down at the small, rolling bag Peter was pulling. For as much as the guy carried in his pockets, he traveled surprisingly light. Juno did his best not to guess at how many days’ worth of clothing could fit in that bag.

The drive was relatively quiet, full of uncertain silences interspersed with Nureyev giving directions, and their mutual attempts at small talk. How was the flight? How’s work? Neither was quite ready to acknowledge the metaphorical elephant staring pointedly at the two of them, and both were quietly grateful for the other’s silence on the subject. Trying to get used to being in each other’s presence was enough for the time being. They sat silently for a moment once they finally reached the hotel.

“So...” Peter finally said. “Do you have any recommendations for where we should eat?”

Juno opened his mouth to respond, but was sidetracked by the unfairly distracting way Peter bit his lip, the point of one of his canines poking out just enough to catch Juno’s eye. Juno cleared his throat. “I, uh, did you not have a place in mind?” 

Peter shook his head slightly. “No. I was on Mars for a while, but not all of that was spent in Hyperion, and unfortunately I spent less time exploring than I would have liked, what with... well... Besides,” he said, forcing himself to brighten slightly as he avoided the subject of what had been keeping him so busy, “It’s always best to get recommendations from the locals. It’s how you find all the best spots.”

Juno nodded noncommittally. “Well... I guess uh... there’s a café near the office that Rita and I go to that’s pretty good. Pretty quiet too, which is nice.”

“Oh? It sounds lovely.” Peter checked the time. “Send me the name and the address and we can meet there at, say, one?”

“Sure, yeah. Sounds good.”

\---------------------------------------

Peter took a deep breath as he stepped into the café. It had been easy enough to find. It was located just down the block from Juno’s office—and wasn't it just like him to still know the way there by heart?—and had its name on a sandwich board out front. The place itself was cozy, all warm colors and soft lighting.The smell of coffee and baked goods filled the air while soft jazz music played quietly through the speakers. True to Juno’s word, it wasn’t terribly busy; there were just enough people to provide a comfortable buzz of background noise without being loud enough to make conversation difficult. He could tell why Juno liked this place. He looked around and spotted the detective himself sitting in a corner booth, already nursing a cup of coffee. He smiled a little when Peter caught his eye. Peter didn’t think he'd ever stop being awed by that smile, rarer and more precious than anything he’d ever stolen. He smiled back softly and walked over, taking a seat across from Juno.

“Hello, Juno.”

“Hey. Glad you found the place.”

“As am I. It really is lovely. An excellent choice.”

Juno’s small smile was accompanied by a slight blush, and how had Peter forgotten how charming the person in front of him was? He’d thought he remembered, but he’d underestimated it by a mile. Which was impressive, given how much that poor remembrance had still stuck in his mind ever since he woke up alone in that hotel room.

“Thanks. I like it too. Plus the owner always gives me a discount ever since I helped stop her old business partner from burning the place down in an insurance scheme.”

Peter chuckled at that. “Of course you did.”

Juno shrugged, his smile growing slightly. They spent a moment just smiling at each other, but were interrupted by a waiter walking up.

“Hey, Juno. Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, hi, Cam. This is, uh, Balder.” 

Cam smirked. “Hi, “Uh, Balder.” Can I get you something to drink?”

“Chai latte, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing. Want a menu? Or is it just gonna be the drinks today?”

“A menu would be lovely, thank you.”

“Here you go. Just wave me over when you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Cam.”

Cam nodded at the two of them with a twinkle in their eye before walking over to check on another table.

“You must come here a lot, to be on a first name basis with the waitstaff.”

Juno shrugged again.

“Like I said, it’s convenient and the food and coffee are good.”

“Of course. Still, it’s an interesting concept, being a regular somewhere.”

“Yeah, I guess you don’t get much of that, do you?”

“Not if I can help it, no.”

The conversation lulled, and Peter decided to change the subject, feeling the tension start to rise. “So, is there anything in particular you would recommend?”

“Huh?”

“To eat.”

“Oh, uh, not really. It’s all good. Bread’s all fresh-baked if you’re in the mood for a sandwich. All their soup that I’ve tried is decent. Their muffins are great if you’re in the mood for something sweeter. All their pastries are, honestly.”

Peter smirked. “Everything, hm? What a helpful suggestion.”

Juno snorted and hid a grin with a sip of his coffee. “Shut up.”

“Never.”

A moment later, Cam came back with Peter’s latte and a knowing smile.

“Here you go, one chai latte. So, what are you two doing today?” Juno opened his mouth to answer, but hesitated, glancing back to Peter.

“Oh, just catching up,” Peter replied. “It’s... been a while, since we last saw each other.”

“Oh yeah? Sounds nice.”

“It is,” Juno replied, a small smile crossing his face as he continued to look at Peter. Cam’s smile grew.

“I’m glad. So, the usual, Juno?”

“Oh, uh, sure. Yeah.”

“And for you?”

“I’ll have what the lady’s having,” Peter replied.

“Coming right up. And, uh, let me know if you need anything else, alright?” Cam added, clearly directing it more at Juno. It was charming, really, Peter decided. That display of investment. Juno didn’t seem to realize it, but he really did inspire care in the people around him. When he wasn’t actively trying to antagonize them, anyways. And sometimes even when he was, Peter thought, his smile shifting into an amused smirk.

“Yeah, will do,” Juno said. He looked back to Peter as Cam walked off, and raised an eyebrow at his expression. “What?”

“Oh, nothing. Just... thinking about you.” 

Juno blushed slightly and looked away. “Seriously.”

“Perfectly serious, Juno.” 

Juno just made a quiet grumbling noise and took another sip of his coffee. Peter chuckled and sipped his own drink.

It was almost surreal, this moment. It was so... _domestic._ That really was the only word for it. Sitting in a coffee shop with Juno, sharing a time and a place and a meal without the threat of death looming over their heads, delighting in trying to make him smile and the adorable way that Juno tried and failed to hide it when Peter succeeded. It made a feeling, as warm as the cup in his hands and as bright as the light in Juno’s eye, fill his chest.

The thought crossed his mind that they could have been enjoying this for ages by now if only... well. “If only” was why they were here, wasn’t it? Peter felt his smile slip slightly. They really were going to have to talk about it, weren’t they?

Juno noticed his change in expression. “Nur– Er, Balder?”

“I...” Peter shook his head, taking a breath. “Apologies. I hate to ruin the moment, but...”

“But?” Juno asked, drawing back into his seat, expression now guarded.

“But... we came here for a reason. We should really talk about it.”

Juno fidgeted with his cup. “Thought we already did,” he muttered.

“A bit, yes. But there are still things to discuss.”

Juno sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Yeah, guess so. Listen, I know I said it before, but I am so damn sorry. I just... I didn’t think it would hurt you that much. I never thought you might think it was _your_ fault, somehow. I thought you would probably hate me after, but that was fine. I figured if it was going to happen eventually, it might as well be on my terms. And I was just so sure you would be better off without me...” Juno trailed off, staring into his cup.

“You can’t just decide what’s best for other people like that, Juno. Let others decide what they need. That’s not your call to make.”

“I know,” Juno replied quietly. “I know. It was shitty and cowardly and I should have stayed and talked to you. Should have left a note or something, at least. I just... I was so damn _scared._ It had been ages since I cared about someone like that, and the thought of not being good enough, of watching you slowly realize you could do better... I couldn't stand it.”

“And now?” Peter asked softly.

“Now? I’m still scared, honestly. But I... I wanted to apologize. To let you know how sorry I am.” Juno swallowed. “I... I can’t say that I wish I could go back and stop myself from doing it. I couldn't go with you back then. I wasn’t... I don’t think it would have gone well. But I’m not the same guy that walked out on you. I know better, now. And I’m working on stuff. On myself. I meant it when I said I was doing better.”

Peter nodded, contemplative. “You hurt me, Juno. Quite badly.”

“I know,” Juno quickly replied. “I know and I’m so damn sorry. I-"

Peter put up a hand. “Let me finish.” 

Juno snapped his mouth shut. 

Peter sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You hurt me, but I also hurt you. I... I think I knew, deep down, that you didn't really want to leave Mars. But I wanted so badly to run away with you that I ignored all the signs.”

“Maybe, but I should have said something. Between the two of us, I pulled the shittier move.”

“Perhaps. Though I don’t want to argue blame, Juno.”

“What...” Juno hesitated, biting his lip. He visibly took a breath. “What do you want?”

Peter took a long sip of his drink, buying himself some time. What _did_ he want? Juno, of course. That was as clear as ever in his mind. He wanted Juno the same as he always had. But under what conditions? He still couldn’t stay on Mars, after all, not indefinitely. And he couldn’t be with Juno if he was constantly worried about him backing out again. He’d woken up once to find the detective gone without a trace, and it left him broken and aching for... far too long. He didn’t think he could stand it a second time. He wanted Juno, but he _needed_ reassurance. And most importantly, he only wanted Juno if Juno wanted him.

“What do _you_ want, Juno?” he finally asked. 

Juno looked surprised. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, trying to find the words. He swallowed. “I want a lot of things, Nu- Balder. A lot of things that I probably shouldn’t, and that I probably won’t get.”

“I didn’t ask what you should want, or will get, or think you deserve, Juno,” Peter pushed. “I asked what you want. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Juno looked at him helplessly, clutching his cup like a lifeline. “I... I want you,” he whispered.

As quiet as the words were, they still made Peter’s breath catch.

“But... but more than that, I want you to be happy,” Juno continued, resolutely avoiding Peter’s eyes. “And if I can do that for you, I want to. But if I can’t, or if- if you don’t want... I just want to do what I can.”

Peter took a shaky breath, trying to blink back the tears gathering in his eyes.

“Juno,” he breathed, reaching out to place one of his hands over Juno’s, causing Juno to look up at him.

“I want you too, love. Never doubt that.”

Juno huffed out a bitter laugh.

“Easier said than done,” he muttered, looking away again. Peter squeezed his hand.

“I mean it, Juno. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I may be... hesitant, after, well. But I do want you. More than words can say.”

It was at that moment that Cam came back with two plates.

“Here you go, two cinnamon crumble muffins.” They gave Peter and Juno an appraising look. “How are you guys doing?”

Juno and Peter both hesitated.

“Good... I think,” Juno finally answered slowly. Cam raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah? Good. Like I said, just let me know if you need anything else.”

“Yeah.”

Cam walked off with a nod and an appraising glance at Peter. Peter turned back to Juno, who turned to his muffin, picking off a piece of the crumble on top and popping it into his mouth distractedly. Peter grew concerned.

“Juno?” he asked cautiously. “Are you alright?”

Juno met his eyes, and Peter could see the wariness there, but also the hope.

“Yeah, it’s just... kind of a lot, is all. I’m working on getting better about... this... but it’s still...”

“I understand.This whole thing is a bit overwhelming for me as well. I’ve never...” Peter took a deep breath. It was hard to admit, but then, all of it was, in a way. “I don’t exactly have a lot of experience in this area.”

Juno gave him a skeptical look.

“I’m serious, Juno. Of course I know the broad strokes. I know how to make someone fall for me. How to say the right things and do the right things and read them and listen so I can give them what they want– be who they want. But _this?”_ He squeezed Juno’s hand which still rested under his. “This... honesty, this openness, this talking to you as– as myself?” he said, covering quickly. “It’s all new. The idea of sharing my actual thoughts and feelings, of doing things because _I_ want to, of being wanted as _myself..._ it’s something I haven’t done in a very long time. I’m a bit rusty.”

He could feel how nervous his smile was, but, well, honesty _was_ the point, as he’d just said. Hiding it would be counterproductive. He watched realization pass over Juno’s face, followed by understanding.

“Oh,” Juno said quietly. “...Sorry, that makes sense, I just never thought about it.” He gave a quiet laugh, more of a forceful exhale of breath than anything. “You’re so great, I never considered that other people might not know that. That they might not _get_ to know. Because if everyone you met did, experience definitely wouldn’t be a problem for you.”

Peter was torn between crying and laughing, so he did a bit of both, wiping at the wetness in his eyes and letting out a chuckle. “Now you’re just flattering me.”

Juno gave him a wry smile, its edges worn soft by fondness.

“Maybe a little, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

Peter cleared his throat. “Well, I’m glad you think so.” 

He took a moment to absorb that, the feeling of being liked and admired, of _Peter Nureyev_ being liked and admired. He let it sink into his skin and settle there, warm and comforting, like an old blanket rediscovered after years of sitting in the back of a closet, waiting to be pulled out again. Slowly, trying to hold onto the feeling, Peter brought his mind back to the matter at hand. “Juno...”

“Yeah?”

Peter hesitated. He wasn’t quite sure how to say this. “I care for you. So much. And words cannot express how happy I am to be back here with you. To finally be able to talk like this and say how we feel without it being part of some grand, declarative farewell. And I want to keep doing this with you. But given my lack of personal experience, I’m not actually sure where to go from here. I don’t know what’s next.”

Juno had gone tense again, but he started to relax once more by the time Peter finished talking. He got that look on his face that showed he was thinking hard about something: his brows furrowed slightly, one corner of his mouth quirked. It was rather adorable.

“Honestly? I don’t exactly have the best track record with this stuff either. I don’t really know. I guess we could...”

“Yes?”

Juno laughed a little. “It sounds kinda ridiculous at this point, after everything, but... we could always go on a date.” Juno’s smile had started to grow at this point, and it was impossibly infectious.

Peter felt his own mouth slip into a grin. “A date?”

“Yeah. I mean, this is kind of one, but just, you know. A regular date. Dinner or something.”

“I think I would like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I’d like that a lot.”

Juno grinned fully, and oh, if that didn’t take Peter’s breath away. His detective had the most dazzling smile.

“Great. You wanna pick the place? I picked this one, after all.”

“Oh, I suppose I can find something. Any requests?”

Juno shrugged. “Just... not any place too fancy, alright?”

Peter felt a warm burst of fondness at Juno’s slightly nervous expression. He gave his hand a squeeze.

“Of course, darling.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where everything is great, and no one is avoiding any important conversations.

This was not going as well as they had hoped, and they both knew it. Peter was trying not to let his anxiety show, both out of habit and in an attempt to recover the mood, but it was more difficult than he'd normally expect. He and Juno had parted ways after leaving the café, and once Peter was back in his hotel room, he’d spent ages poring over lists of restaurants in Hyperion City looking for the perfect one. Nowhere too fancy, as per Juno’s request, but someplace reasonably nice where he could treat the lady to a good meal in style. He studied countless reviews and menus, agonizing over picking just the right place, and then agonizing over what to wear and how to do his makeup. With butterflies in his stomach, he’d felt like a teenager, nervous yet giddy with excitement over a date with a cute boy.

And when he’d met Juno at the restaurant, his breath had caught when he’d seen that Juno had dressed up for him. He was wearing a pair of slacks with a tighter fit than most Peter had seen him in, a soft blouse the same blue as his eye which made it look even brighter, some subtle gold earrings that caught the light where they hung, and some deep burgundy lipstick that made it even harder than usual for Peter to not let his gaze drift down to Juno’s mouth. And the smile that mouth had curved into when Juno caught sight of him... Peter nearly swooned.

And yet after all that initial excitement, here they were: sitting awkwardly at the table, trying to figure out what to say. There had been small talk at first and compliments from both sides. Peter asked the waiter about the wine selection while Juno looked over the menu. The place seemed to be quite popular, which Peter should have expected from the reviews. The reservation that he’d made earlier kept them from having to wait for a table, but it did nothing to dull the buzz of conversation around them. He wasn't one to feel uncomfortable around large numbers of people, but given his dedication to honesty and openness with Juno, he found the crowd unusually anxiety-inducing. He was finding it hard to enjoy the moment with his mind so preoccupied by the worry of being overheard, and without meaning to, he started slipping into character out of habit.

Duke Rose ordered a nice bottle of a full-bodied rosé, and leaned in toward his lady, eyes flitting over him, unable to decide where he wanted to look.

“Anything striking your fancy, dearest?”

“I uh,” Juno cleared his throat when he caught Duke's eye. “Not yet.”

“Hm, well, according to the reviews, the duck is particularly good. And I believe the Titanian curry would pair well with the wine.”

“Huh, alright.” Juno looked down at the menu, and Duke bit his lip.

“Of course, there's plenty to choose from. Or we could always coordinate what we get and share, if there's more than one thing you'd like to try. Or perhaps we could ask the waiter for recommendations?”

This time when Juno looked up from his menu, his gaze was scrutinizing.

“Are you okay?”

“I- of course, my dear. Why do you ask?”

“You're acting weird. You don't usually ramble like that, and even the way you're talking feels... off.”

Peter Nureyev blinked and shook his head slightly, only just realizing what he was doing.

“I... yes. I'm alright. I simply... forgot myself for a moment.” He ran a hand through his hair, and Juno nodded at him, glancing away and back. Their eyes met, and Peter felt an understanding pass between them.

“Juno? Would... would you perhaps like to go somewhere else?” Juno shrugged, but Peter could see his interest.

“We could. What were you thinking?”

“Nothing particular in mind. Just... somewhere quieter.” Peter watched the tension start to seep out of Juno’s shoulders.

“Quieter, huh? ...Yeah, alright. Let’s get out of here.”

They took the wine with them. Peter had already intended to buy the bottle, after all. They wandered down a couple blocks, ending up by Juno’s car. They paused, and Juno looked at Peter thoughtfully, biting his lip in a way he had to know made Peter’s pulse jump. No one could possibly be that enticing without knowing it.

“I know you didn’t have anywhere in mind,” Juno started cautiously. “And a lot of places are gonna be busy, dinner time on a weekend. Do you... If you wanna go somewhere quieter I mean... there’s always my place?”

Peter hesitated. Back to Juno’s place. It was that first night all over again. Juno nervously inviting him back to his apartment, and this time nothing that Peter wanted to steal. Save, perhaps, the detective himself. The question was, what did Juno want if Peter accepted? Just a quiet night in? Sex? Peter was torn about the latter. He wanted to, of course. He always wanted Juno. But if he was being honest with himself, a part of him was still nervous at the prospect of jumping back into bed together. Despite their talks before now, despite how surprisingly open Juno had been about wanting to try again, despite Juno being the one to seek him out in the first place, Peter still couldn’t shake the memory of waking up in that hotel bed alone.

“Nureyev?” Peter shook his head slightly. Juno was looking at him nervously, arms crossed and shoulders hunched defensively. “If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I just, I dunno. I thought I would-”

“No, it’s- it’s fine. My apologies. I... would. Like to go to your place, that is.” Juno eyed him warily, and Peter regretted the hesitation. Regretted making Juno go on the defensive like that.

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

The drive back was quiet, and while Peter felt better with it back to just the two of them, he still wasn't completely at ease. It was like going into a heist without properly planning. He didn't know what he should say or do to get what he wanted. He still wasn't sure he even knew what he wanted. “Juno” was an answer, but it wasn't specific enough to be useful. How and when and under what conditions did he want him? And what did Juno want? It was simple, when stealing. The other person wanted many things, but at the top of the list was that they didn't want to be stolen from. That wasn't Peter's concern outside of the steps they might take to stop him. But what _Juno_ wanted, _that_ was important. He didn't want to con or manipulate Juno into doing what he wanted. But he also wanted their plans and desires to match up. He wanted this to work, whatever “this” was, but he didn't know how to make that happen. He had known all along that he was somewhat out of his depth, but he was mildly terrified to realize just how clueless he was. That line of thought kept him occupied for the whole trip, winding him up more and more. When they finally entered Juno's apartment, he hesitated in front of the door, waiting to follow Juno's lead. Juno, though, hesitated too, shoving his hands in his pockets and digging the toe of his shoe into the carpet, looking at Peter with an expression that was difficult to read. So Peter took stock of his options, and chose a course of action.

“Juno?”

“Yeah?”

“I don't know about you,” Peter lifted the bottle of wine, “but I would very much like a drink. What do you think?” Once again, the tension visibly left Juno's body.

“God, yes.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“So let me get this straight,” Juno managed through his laughter. “You were being chased through this guy’s mansion, completely naked, and you still managed to steal _three_ of his paintings on the way out?”

“I had been running this con for nearly a month! There was no way I wasn’t going to get _something_ for my efforts. And I couldn’t just leave the portrait he had started, considering he had already done my face. So, I figured that as long as I had to carry _one_ painting out with me, I might as well take a couple more on the way out.”

“I still can’t believe you decided posing as a nude model for someone was the best cover to rob them under.”

“It worked, didn’t it?”

“I mean, sure, but if that’s the getaway it leads to, is it really worth it?”

“I managed to get 11,000 creds for those paintings, so yes.”

Juno let out a low whistle.

“Alright, fair enough. I’d run naked through some rich jerk’s house for 11,000 creds too.”

Peter laughed at that; a rich, delighted sound that had Juno's heart pounding like he was running a marathon rather than sitting on his couch. Though he couldn't say he minded that much. Not when Peter was looking at him with that light in his eyes and that smile on his face. It made a lady feel pretty special, having a guy like Peter Nureyev look at him like that. Much better than the way he looked in that restaurant. Juno might not have known what was wrong, still didn't really, but he knew uncomfortable when he saw it. Now though, sitting on his ratty couch in their nice clothes, most of the way through a bottle of wine, Peter looked at home in a way that made Juno ache to think about. Peter Nureyev, at home in his apartment. He really needed to stop getting ahead of himself.

“Now _that_ I’d like to see,” Peter said with a grin, interrupting Juno’s thoughts. Juno took a brief moment to remember what Peter was talking about, and then smirked back.

“Yeah? Well, unless you have 11,000 creds on you, you’re probably gonna end up disappointed. Though if you play your cards right you might get something almost as good.”

“Oh? Well, if you have a deck around I would be happy to try. It’s been some time since I last played strip poker, but I’m sure I can’t have gotten that rusty.”

“Even if you have, I wouldn’t be complaining.”

There was a long pause after that; the two of them staring into each other’s eyes, their cheeky smiles fading into something more intense. Juno saw Peter’s eyes flick down to his lips and back. Saw Peter lick his own lips. When did he get so close, anyways? Juno didn’t remember either of them moving. He swore he could feel Peter’s body heat, though maybe it was just him. He watched as Peter opened his mouth as if to say something, and then closed it again.

“Juno...” he finally started.

“Yeah?”

“Would you...” Juno didn’t think he had ever seen Nureyev at a loss for words. Could hardly believe it now that he was seeing it. “That is... are you... hungry?”

Juno looked at Peter in confusion and pulled away slightly. Peter followed suit, and Juno felt the distance more than he would like to admit.

“Am I what?”

“Hungry. We did leave the restaurant before we’d actually ordered anything. I thought we could possibly order in?”

Juno _was_ actually kind of hungry, now that he thought about it. But that had fallen by the wayside in the face of all of the other things he was feeling. Things like tipsy, and happy, and aroused, and in... invested. Invested in Nureyev. Yeah. And the fact that Nureyev had jumped to _that_ when they were in the middle of having a moment made Juno worried. He knew Nureyev had said he wanted to take things slow, but it wasn’t like they hadn’t slept together before. A little flirting and leaning in for a kiss weren’t exactly scandalous. Unless, of course, Nureyev wasn’t interested in kissing Juno, much less doing more with him. Unless his discomfort at the restaurant was because he was having second thoughts about this whole thing. He’d hesitated when Juno invited him back to his apartment, after all. And sure, they had been having a good time for a while now. But Juno knew perfectly well that a few glasses of something to take the edge off was more than enough to make bad company seem alright. Was he just trying to let Juno down easy? Trying to pull away without actually having to say anything about it? Juno supposed he couldn’t exactly blame him for that, but that didn’t make the thought sting any less.

“Juno?”

Juno’s vision snapped back into focus, Peter’s face resolving into a picture of clear discomfort.

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine of course. I simply thought I might suggest it, considering how late it’s getting and the fact that we skipped dinner.”

“I uh, it is getting kinda late, huh?” Juno’s mind was yelling at him to just give Peter an out already. It would be so easy. Just a few short words. _”Late enough that you should probably get going,”_ he could say, and Peter would be able to leave like he almost definitely wanted to.

No.

Juno took a breath.

He tried to focus on what he was trying to do. Part of getting better was not letting those thoughts get the best of him. Not ruining things himself for the sake of not giving other people the chance. Peter had just said earlier that day, over and over, that he wanted this. Wanted Juno. And as much as that dark little voice in his head tried to tell him that it was too good to be true, that he would never be good enough for someone like Peter Nureyev, that this was bound to end in pain and loneliness when Nureyev finally realized that... that little voice wasn’t the voice of reason. It was the voice of fear, and doubt, and it was doing everything it could to make sure he never gave anyone else the chance to hurt him, but it was doing that at a cost Juno didn’t want to pay anymore. He was learning, slowly, not to trust that voice. Luckily, he had someone else’s word to go off of. Someone he’d already learned to trust.

“If... if it’s getting _too_ late, I could always go,” Peter suggested hesitantly, looking away to fidget with one of his cufflinks. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“No, it’s- you’re fine. You’re not imposing. Ordering in sounds good. Anything you’re in the mood for?”

Peter looked back up at him, and Juno felt the weight in his stomach lighten slightly at the relief he saw in Peter’s eyes.

“Not in particular. You?”

“Not really, but I know a few places. I think I have some menus lying around in the kitchen. Hang on, I’ll look for them.”

In the end, they ordered from the little Yaman place down the street, and ate while watching some old detective movie they found on a stream. They took turns criticizing and poking fun at it, Juno talking about the detective’s mistakes while Peter criticized the heist team’s plan and execution, and soon the ease from earlier returned, laughter and banter taking the place of the previous stuttering and awkward silences. It was nice. Really nice. Juno was struck once more by how this was unlike anything he’d ever expected to get. Especially with Peter. It was too good. Too easy to be together like this. Too easy to forget all the problems looming over them and just sink into the couch, sink into Peter’s side, and not think about any of it. And for once... he let himself. Let himself lean his head on Peter’s shoulder and breathe in that cologne and just _enjoy_ himself. Which is how, he supposed, he ended up waking up on his couch with a sore neck from falling asleep on top of Peter at an awkward angle, the two of them tangled together on a couch only barely big enough for one person to sleep on. Still, he thought as he shifted and felt Peter’s arm tighten where it was wrapped around his waist, there were much worse ways to wake up.

\-------------------------------------------------

Of all the ways Peter had imagined waking up next to Juno (and there were more than he’d care to admit) this had never been one of them. There had been waking up curled close after a night of passion, or in a bed in a safehouse after some daring escape, but never tangled together on Juno’s old couch after falling asleep in front of the tv. That said, he certainly wasn’t complaining. Not with the warmth of Juno’s body on his, and the way the morning sun lit up his face, and the adorable way his hair had become more of a mess than usual. Sure, he was a bit sore and cramped from sleeping on the small couch in such an odd position, but it wasn’t nearly enough to stop the warmth that was spreading through him at the thought that he was, after all this time, getting to wake up next to Juno Steel.

“Mornin’,” Juno mumbled, his face pressed against Peter's shoulder. Peter smiled.

“Good morning,” Peter replied softly, unable to resist the urge to reach up and run his fingers through Juno's hair. Juno closed his eye and leaned into the touch, and Peter worried his heart might burst from the flood of warmth that coursed through it. The thought _”I want this every day,”_ popped into his head, and he let it linger there, content in the truth of it. _”I want to find a way to have this every day.”_

Peter felt Juno stretch against him, and move to sit up. Peter hesitated for a moment before letting him, a hand lingering on Juno's waist as Juno stretched, trying to work the stiffness out of his back and neck. Peter rubbed at Juno’s back and he sighed, throwing him a tired, lopsided smile. Then his stomach growled, and there was a pause before Juno let out a laugh.

“Breakfast?”

Peter’s smile widened.

“I would love some.”

And so they went out for breakfast. And it was nice. Very nice. Wonderful, in fact. Peter felt like he was walking on air the whole day, even after they parted ways so he could go back to his hotel room to shower and change. He meditated on it as he dried off, a broad smile on his face. It just felt so _right,_ spending time together like this. Going out together. Staying in together. Falling asleep and waking up in each other’s arms. It had barely been more than a day, but it already felt like things were falling into place. Peter could see it now: Lying in bed together. Having breakfast every morning. Maybe he could try to learn to cook and bring Juno breakfast in bed. They could travel the stars, Peter showing Juno every beautiful place he could think of, all of them seeming new again with Juno at his side...

He fell out of the daydream slowly, his smile fading as he did. That was, of course, the problem with wonderful things. They never came easy, even if they looked like they might at first. There were always problems. Always obstacles. And the problems were these: Peter couldn’t stay, and Juno, as far as Peter knew, didn’t want to go. He could ask again, of course, but with that thought his mind was suddenly thrown back to the last time he was alone in a hotel room after spending the night with Juno Steel. Juno was honest to a fault most of the time, but Peter knew from experience he wasn’t always. There was always the chance of him saying yes before once again changing his mind and leaving Peter to depart alone. Peter slipped on his robe, suddenly colder than he had been just a moment ago. And to think he had been feeling so hopeful.

They needed to have this conversation, but Peter couldn’t bear the thought. He couldn’t stand to consider the possibility of putting himself out there again, of offering Juno a life with him again, only to suffer yet another rejection. He couldn’t. But they couldn’t go on like this forever. Peter would have to go eventually, with or without Juno.

With a lack of things to focus on to ease his emotional turmoil, Peter did what he usually did, and pushed those thoughts to the side in favor of more practical concerns. He went to grab his comms and checked his bank account. He had a fair amount saved up. Not as much as he might like, but plenty to live comfortably off of for some time. Between paying for the hotel room, food, laundry, and possibly buying some new clothes, he had more than enough to spend at least another three weeks on Mars before he needed to start looking for another job. Three weeks. Another number that was smaller than he might have liked, but still more than he had hoped to get. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen once he and Juno finally had a serious talk about where this was headed, where _they_ were headed, both literally and figuratively. But if it went poorly, then at least he could have three weeks to enjoy himself first and pretend that everything was fine. He would just have to take what he could get.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A talk is had, and an understanding is reached.

It was all just a waiting game.

Juno kept thinking about it as the days passed, turning into weeks. Just one big waiting game to see when the other shoe would drop. He didn’t know what or who was going to come in and burst this bubble they had created for themselves, didn’t know how or when it was going to happen, but he knew it would eventually. All that was left to do was wait. Wait, and try to enjoy it while it lasted.

It wasn’t his usual MO, but after being the one to screw it up the last time, he wasn’t about to be the one to throw a wrench into things by voicing that fear, or asking how long Peter was planning on sticking around. No, it was better to just sit back and wait. They were both enjoying themselves, after all. Well, Peter seemed to be, anyways. Juno definitely was. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy, if he was being honest. He had considered taking a few days off work, but decided against it when he thought about the inevitable barrage of questions from Rita that would bring. But luckily, his next couple cases were fairly low-profile, and didn’t keep him out too much or too late. Peter even spent time with him looking over the files that he brought home, pointing out things that he might have missed and offering up ideas. They made a good team. Juno had known that already, but it was nice to know that went beyond situations where they were running and fighting for their lives.

They made a good team in a lot of ways, really. It was surprising just how easy it was to fall into a rhythm together. Going out for meals, going on walks, lounging around the apartment... The way they talked to each other and moved around each other felt so easy. Like it was only natural they would be sharing a space like this. Even things Juno wouldn’t normally consider doing on his own, like going to an art gallery, suddenly became much more enjoyable with Peter there, pretending to be horrified at Juno’s taste in art and playfully hinting at the ways he could steal various pieces, laughing when Juno would roll his eyes and try to hide his smirk with a scowl. And physically, well...

It had taken them a while to get there. Longer than Juno had thought it would. There were several times like that first night back in his apartment where he had thought they were going to kiss, only for Peter to pull away. But finally, after a little over a week, Peter was walking Juno back to the apartment after a date, and they were standing in front of Juno’s door just staring at each other, and Juno couldn’t take it anymore.

“Peter?” he’d said quietly.

“Juno?” Peter had replied, sounding slightly breathless in a way that urged Juno on.

“Are you gonna kiss me or what?”

Juno had worried for a moment he’d screwed up when Peter’s eyes went wide, but those fears vanished the next second when he felt those warm, silk-soft lips against his own. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was still enough to take Juno’s breath away.

“Well. That answers that question.”

They didn’t end up making out in the hallway against his door, but only because he suddenly felt very motivated to get on the other side of it. Getting to the bed had taken a little longer, but considering Juno spent that time pinned against the inside of his door, and trying to work his way across the apartment with Peter without falling over and without taking their hands or mouths off of each other, he didn’t exactly mind. It wasn’t quite like he remembered from all that time ago. Fumbling in excitement rather than desperation, laughing together even, lying together in the afterglow without agonizing over whether or not he should stay... It was so much better.

“You wanna stay the night?” he’d asked, his face pressed against Peter’s shoulder while his fingers ran through his hair, the two of them lying facing each other.

“Oh, if you insist,” Peter had replied, only partially covering a yawn.

Juno guessed that had been a turning point of sorts, because after that, Peter slept over every night. He didn’t bring over his suitcase, just a change of clothes each day, but Juno tried not to dwell on it. His apartment was pretty cramped, after all. And cluttered. Though he’d been keeping it cleaner since that first night Peter had come over. He probably just didn’t want to add to the mess, or lose something in it. That was all. It didn’t mean that he was trying to avoid making it seem like he was planning to stay long-term, or even more than a day. And Juno definitely didn’t lie awake at night thinking about it while he watched Peter sleep, and tried to memorize the soft, peaceful look on his face, and the smell of his cologne.

\----------------------------------------

Peter’s life often depended on small details. Where someone was looking, a slight bulge in a pocket, the soft clicks of a lock, minor changes in tone, these were all vital to his success as a thief, and regularly to his continued survival. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise that it was the little things that kept sticking in his mind, reminding him of the rapidly approaching time limit of this little experiment of theirs. Things like the way Juno would still hesitate on what to call him in public, both his name and his title. Juno usually settled on “friend” after clearly hesitating on words like “boyfriend” and “partner,” and it always hit Peter’s ears wrong, but given his devotion to avoiding the topic of their future, he couldn’t exactly suggest something else. Or the way one of Juno’s neighbors had started giving him friendly nods of recognition when they passed in the halls. The fact that even though his bag was still in the hotel, he had started leaving his toothbrush in Juno’s bathroom after the first few times he spent the night. Or, most recently, the way the waiter from that cute little cafe, Cam, had greeted them that morning.

“Morning, Juno. Balder. The usual?”

It really was a small thing. They had gone there plenty since that first day, and Cam had warmed up to him quickly. And it wasn’t exactly a hard order to remember, since Peter had just been getting Juno’s usual, with chai rather than coffee. But regardless, he had a usual. He was recognized. And while he had been curious before about what that might be like, he now knew that after so many years of anonymity, it put him slightly on edge. Compelled him to pay more attention to the people in the room, and the placement of the exits. Made him distracted enough that Juno even asked if he was feeling ok. He surreptitiously checked the date on his comms. Three days left until he needed to put an ear out to see what kind of jobs he could find, be it a hired job, or one of personal interest. He had to say something. Putting it off longer would only make things worse. He couldn’t ask Juno to join him last minute like he did last time, nor could he just leave him out of the blue. Juno probably wouldn’t blame him with the guilt Peter suspected he still felt over leaving himself, but having been left was precisely the reason why Peter couldn’t do that himself. He knew firsthand how much it hurt, and he refused to put Juno through that, or even something similar. He stared at Juno as they ate, drinking in the sight of him. Savoring the sound of his voice and the quirk of that smile which had become so blessedly frequent. He had to say something, but he could wait just a little longer. Just until that night. He just had to spend a little more time committing these moments to memory, so he could think on and treasure them later, if he didn’t get the chance to make any more. He’d never been good at denying himself.

\----------------------------------------

Juno swore he could cut the tension with a knife. Peter had seemed a little on edge at breakfast, and it had only gotten worse as the day went on. When they had met for lunch, Juno kept catching him staring at him out of the corner of his eye, and he’d been weirdly nervous asking about plans for after Juno got done with work.

“I figured we could meet at my place and figure out what to do for dinner after that, like we have been. Unless there’s somewhere specific you want to go.”

“No, no, your place is fine. In fact, I was thinking we might order in?”

“Sure. Sounds good.”

“Good. I... yes. Good.”

Juno hadn’t gotten much work done when he went back to the office after that. He was too worried. Things had been going well, sure, but he’d known something would happen eventually. The problem was that he had no idea what was actually happening. Was Peter in trouble? Was someone after him or something? Did he have some sort of heist or con he was running while Juno was at work that Juno didn’t know about that was going bad somehow? Was... Was he just reconsidering? Was he nervous because he was planning on breaking up with him that night? Juno knew, in the back of his mind, that a talk about the future had to happen eventually. And he knew Peter didn’t like staying in one place too long. Couldn’t, really. And Juno... for as much as he was trying to get better, he still couldn’t see himself leaving Mars. And definitely not for good. And if Peter knew that, could tell, well. Maybe the waiting game would come to a close soon.

He considered calling it an early day, since he couldn’t seem to get through one paragraph on a file before getting lost in his head, but he decided against it. At least at the office he could pretend he was doing something else. But even with as slow as time seemed to move, closing time still came eventually, and with it the long walk back home, and the wait for Nureyev to knock on his door.

He jumped when it finally came, the stress making him startle despite the fact that he was expecting it. Another knock.

“Juno?”

“Yeah! Sorry! Come on in. It’s unlocked.”

He got up to meet Peter at the door, and was greeted with the smile and small kiss that had already become almost habitual for them.

“How are you, darling?”

“Alright. You?”

“Always better with you. Any thoughts on what to order for dinner? I was considering that place from last Wednesday with that delicious chocolate cake we got for dessert.”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.” Juno didn’t really care about where they were getting dinner from. He was more concerned with the nervous twist to Nureyev’s smile, and the way it didn’t quite reach his eyes. The way he had kept his distance after that first kiss, stuffing his hands in his pockets and hovering by the door rather than going straight to the couch and flopping down. Instead he waited for Juno to sit, and sat next to him, close, but not quite close enough to touch without reaching out. Juno bit his lip and debated for a moment, before making a decision. There was a difference, he decided, between enjoying the moment and ignoring an obvious problem. If he was going to get better about talking about his feelings, he needed to bring it up even when he didn’t want to. Even when it scared him.

“Hey, Peter?”

“Yes, dear?”

“How are you actually?”

Peter looked at him, confused on the surface, but with a lingering something in his eyes that Juno couldn’t place.

“What?”

“When I asked a second ago you didn’t really answer-”

“I didn’t realize this was an interrogation-”

 _“And,”_ Juno continued, ignoring the interruption, “you’ve been off since breakfast.”

“What do you mean, off?”

“I don’t know. Nervous, I guess? You just seem kinda twitchy, and almost scared or something. And I’m... worried. I’m worried about you.”

Nureyev’s shoulders slumped a little, and the mask of confusion fell away, leaving an expression that was much more genuine, but also more painful. It was nervous, but also sad. Almost resigned. He let out a quiet, humorless chuckle.

“Well, I suppose I should have known better than to try to hide anything from you. You are a detective, after all. One who’s already proven he’s much too good at reading me, at that. I have been. Nervous, that is. I...” He cleared his throat. “There’s something I think we should talk about.”

“What’s that?” Juno asked, bringing his legs up and wrapping his arms around them so he was curled up against the arm of the couch. Nureyev looked him in the eye.

“Us.”

Juno looked away with a sigh.

“I was worried you might say that.”

“Juno, I... I want you to know that these past weeks... I know it hasn’t been a long time, but I can honestly say that I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. Not simply happy, but happy to just... be. To just spend time with someone with no ulterior motive. To spend time as _myself,_ and be able to share that with someone. To have someone who knows _me,_ knows Peter Nureyev, who I can share meals with and tell stories to and curl up with at night. To have found someone as... as incredible, and clever, and beautiful, and talented, and kind as you are, and find that you somehow seem to be even half as enamored with me as I am with you... I cannot begin to tell you what that’s meant to me. What that means to me. What _you_ mean to me.”

“But?” Juno interjected.

“But?”

“I know it’s coming, Nureyev. I... I’m glad I could do that for you, but I can hear the “but” coming. You don’t have to beat around the bush. Just... tell me. It’s fine.”

“I... alright.”

Juno kicked himself for putting that hurt look on Nureyev’s face, and even moreso for the carefully controlled one that moved in to replace it, but he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t sit here and listen to him go on and on about how great this all was when it was clear it was only leading up to hurt.

“I have to go.”

Juno knew it was coming, deep down, but it still hit him like a truck. He didn’t even realize he had gone to stand up until he felt Nureyev grab his arm.

“Wait! Not yet.”

“What do you mean, “not yet”?”

“I don’t have to yet. And... and I don’t want you to either. Please sit? You can go after, if you like. Or kick me out, since it is your apartment. But please let me finish.”

Juno hesitated, but slowly sat back down. He couldn’t help but feel his chest ache at Nureyev’s visible sigh of relief.

“Thank you. I... I do have to leave. Not yet, but soon. I only have so much money saved up, after all, and I can’t exactly pull jobs exclusively on Mars. Especially not with people starting to recognize me. Recognizing me in relation to you. If any of them were to find out who I was, or even manage to connect me to a crime on the planet, that would be dangerous for both of us. I have to go, but I don’t want to lose this. To lose you.”

“So you’re asking me to come with you?” Juno looked up at Nureyev, and he looked genuinely torn. He opened his mouth to say something, and closed it again, taking a breath.

“I suppose I am,” he finally managed. “I was hesitant to, after... but I have to. I have to ask, because I can’t stay, but I also can’t bear the thought of losing you. I can’t go without asking you to join me. To let me show you all the beautiful, wonderful places in the universe that someone as beautiful and wonderful as you should get to see.”

Juno looked away. He couldn’t stand to meet Peter’s gaze at that moment, even if it was blurred by the tears he was blinking back.

“Nureyev...” he breathed. He had to calm down. He had to get this out. “I wasn’t lying back then, when I said I wanted to go with you. I did. I still do.”

“But?”

Juno might have tried a laugh, if it weren’t for the way Nureyev’s voice cracked on the word.

“But I can’t. Still. Not because I’m trying to save you from myself or anything like that. Or even because I think I somehow owe it to the planet. The city. I just... can’t.” He finally worked up the nerve to look back up into Nureyev’s eyes. “As much as you can’t stay, I can’t go. Not forever. You belong out there, and I belong down here, and that’s just... how it is. Maybe someday I could. Maybe someday I could try, at least. But I can’t guarantee that, and I’m sure as hell not gonna ask you to wait for me.”

There was a long stretch of silence, broken only by the soft, shaky breathing of two people trying to hold it together just a little longer.

“Is that it, then?” Peter finally asked, his honey-smooth voice made rough with grief.

“I... I guess it is,” Juno replied. The words felt heavy in his mouth and fell heavily out of it.

“Well,” Peter said, just above a whisper before clearing his throat. “Perhaps I should go then.”

“You don’t have to,” Juno pleaded, though he wasn’t sure what for at this point. Peter’s responding smile was sad, but still so fond that Juno felt sick to have it directed at him after all of this.

“I need some time to myself, for tonight.”

Juno nodded.

“Thank you, Juno. For everything.” Peter leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Juno’s lips. One that Juno couldn’t help but follow after once he pulled away and walked to the door. Once there, though, he paused. “I will be in town for a few more days, if you want to talk,” he said without turning. Then he was gone, and Juno finally let the tears fall freely.

\----------------------------------------

Peter would have loved to be someone else. Anyone else. But for once in his life, he found he couldn't slip into another person's head. Everything was just too overwhelming. The thoughts. The feelings. He was stuck. Trapped in the head of someone he was just getting used to being again, without the anchor that had been keeping him steady.

He walked back to the hotel, not caring how far it was, and tried not to think about it. Then when he got back, he almost laid down on the bed before it all came crashing back, causing him to hesitate and slump into an armchair instead. It was silly, but as tired as he was, he couldn't lay down right then. Couldn’t find himself alone in bed after losing Juno Steel once again. So Peter Nureyev sat, head in his hands, and fell apart. He let his tears fall freely for the first time that night, and didn't bother to hold it back or try to compose himself. Didn't ignore it. It was cathartic, really. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd let himself have a good breakdown. It might have felt nice, if not for the grief crushing his chest, so painful that he curled in on himself from the force of it.

When he woke up in the middle of the night, still curled up in the chair, he finally moved to the bed. He slept fitfully, drifting in and out, too tired to stay awake but too upset to sleep well. And all the while, his mind kept racing. Kept playing that evening over and over in his head. Kept playing the way Juno’s voice broke and the look on his face. And kept interspersing it with memories of that morning, over a year ago. Of waking up in an empty bed, and knowing he was gone.

All things considered, he had certainly had better nights of sleep.

When the first blue rays of the Martian sunrise came creeping into the room, Peter resigned himself to the fact that what little sleep he had gotten was all he was going to get, and started resignedly considering his next move. He still needed to find his next job, after all. Perhaps he would do what he had the first time and look for something far away in the outer rim; try to outrun his feelings. It hadn’t worked, of course. But he figured it was better than sitting around here, hoping Juno might change his mind. He lingered on that thought. On the fact that he’d told Juno that he would be around for a few days. He almost regretted it, if only because he wanted to run much more than he wanted to stay at this point. Maybe a little distance would help him slip into a new mask, so he could let this whole thing slip away from him like a bad dream. It probably wouldn’t, but it was worth a try. Anything was better than this.

\----------------------------------------

Juno laid in bed, and wondered if Nureyev was having as hard a time sleeping as he was. He tossed and turned, got up and had a drink, went to pour another and thought better of it, laid back down, and tossed and turned some more. He couldn’t stop thinking about it all. About the look on Nureyev’s face. The tears in his eyes. The brokenness in his voice. The way it had all been going so _well,_ dammit! And now it was over. All that time, all those days spent together, all those moments where it felt like they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, it was all he had left. That and the scent of that damn cologne still clinging to his pillows, like it wanted to let go about as much as he did. He laid there and thought about never seeing Nureyev again. He had thought he wouldn’t, once, and it was almost unbearable. A second time was more than he could stand.

No.

There had to be a way.

There had to be something they could do. Some way they could work this out. Juno hadn’t thought about it the first time, because that would have been beside the point. But now? Now was about fighting for what he wanted. And if he couldn’t leave with Nureyev, and Nureyev couldn’t stay, then they would just have to figure out a third option.

It was late enough to almost be early by the time Juno decided what that option would be, and the sun was starting to rise by the time he worked up the nerve to actually go talk to Nureyev about it. He debated whether he should drive or walk, but eventually decided to drive. Less time getting there meant less time to let his fear get the best of him. He called and left Rita a message saying he wouldn’t be in that day - no matter how this went he didn’t expect to feel like going in to work - and headed out.

The sky outside was still fading from blue to gold when he knocked on Nureyev’s hotel door. No response. He knocked again.

“Isn’t it a bit early for housekeeping?” objected a muffled voice.

“It would be, yeah.”

The following silence probably only lasted a few seconds, but Juno could have sworn he stood there for hours, waiting for Nureyev to respond.

The door cracked open.

“Juno?”

“Hey. You uh, mind if I come in?”

“I... suppose.” Peter stepped aside and opened the door more, and Juno walked in hesitantly. He realized he was wringing his hands and shoved them in his pockets. Peter walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, but Juno stayed by the door, not quite confident enough to move in further.

“I have to admit,” Peter started, breaking the silence, “I didn’t really expect to see you again. Certainly not so soon.”

“Yeah, well, call me crazy, but I didn’t really feel like waiting another year or more. I...” He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. It was now or never. “I don’t think I ever want to go that long without seeing you again.”

Peter’s eyes widened, before he curled in on himself slightly, his expression guarded. It hurt a little to see, but Juno couldn’t really blame him.

“What are you saying, Juno?”

“I’m saying that I know you can’t stay here forever, and I can’t leave forever, but I also know that I don’t want to give this up. I... I don’t want to give you up. So if we can’t do this all the time, maybe... we could some of the time. I know that you have to go but... I was hoping that maybe you could come back.”

“Come back?”

“Yeah. You know, between uh, “jobs”. You go do your thing, and then you come back here for a bit. You... you do take breaks between jobs, right?”

“I... usually do, yes. They take time and planning, after all. And I have to wait a while before selling anything I get.”

“Okay. So... maybe instead of staying in hotels or safe houses or whatever, you could, you know. Stay here for a while. I know... I know it’s not a perfect plan. I want to be with you more than that. See you more than that. But if that can’t happen, I don’t want to lose you completely. Not again. And if that means having something long-distance some of the time, then I can do that.” Juno bit his lip as he finished, and waited for Peter’s response. And waited. Nureyev just stared at him with an expression Juno couldn’t quite read. Juno cleared his throat and looked away. “I uh, I understand if you don’t want to. Like I said, it’s not a perfect plan. You deserve someone with the nerve to go travel the stars with you. I just... I thought I would offer. Figured it was better than nothing. At least to me. And you don’t have to answer right now, either. If you want to think about it for a- oh!”

Juno was cut off when he found his face pressed against Peter’s chest after Peter rushed over and pulled him into a crushing hug. Juno wrapped his arms around him instinctively, nuzzling closer.

“Are you sure?” Peter asked, face pressed into his hair. “You say that I deserve someone who can travel the stars with me, but you Juno, you deserve someone who can stay with you. Who can be there when you get home from work and spend quiet evenings on the couch with you. Someone to wake up next to you each morning and fall asleep next to you each night and... and build a home with you.”

Juno pulled away just long enough to look Peter in the eye.

“I don’t want that if it’s not with you, Peter. I’d rather have that with you some of the time than all the time with anyone else. And maybe some day one of us will decide that we need a change of pace, but even if not... I still want this. I still want as much of you as I can get.”

Peter answered with a bruising kiss rather than words. Juno was panting by the time they finally pulled apart.

“So... should I take that as a yes?”

Peter laughed at that.

“Yes, Juno. Yes.”

Juno didn’t keep track of how long they stayed there holding each other, but eventually he yawned, and Peter followed suit before chuckling quietly.

“I suppose you didn’t sleep well last night either?”

“Not even a little. You wanna lay down?”

“I would love to.”

By the time Juno woke up, the light sneaking past the blinds had gone from the bluish hues of sunrise to the yellow of afternoon. He looked at Peter lying next to him, the light and shadows somehow both highlighting his sharp features, and softening them. He looked peaceful. Happy. Juno smiled and pressed closer, closing his eyes. He could stand to get a couple more hours of sleep. After all, it wasn’t like he had anywhere better to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to give an extra shout out to M, Morgan, Kris, and Rowan who all beta-ed for me at various points. You're all amazing, and this fic wouldn't be what it is without your help. Thank you. <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

Peter checked to make sure no one was in sight before sliding the window open and climbing in. He’d only gotten one foot on the floor before he heard a voice, its exasperation clearly tinted with fondness.

“Every time. Just use the damn door already. I gave you a key!”

“And not engage in this charming Martian custom you taught me? Perish the thought.” Peter grinned at the way Juno rolled his eye before pulling him in for a kiss.

“Welcome back,” Juno said against his lips, and Peter couldn’t help but melt a little, even after all these months.

“It’s good to be back, love.”

“You have good timing. I was just making dinner. You should have just enough time to shower before it’s done.”

“Oh? Lovely! I’ll be out soon, then.” He gave Juno a quick peck on the lips before dropping his bag off in the bedroom and heading into the bathroom, still marveling slightly at having someone know his habits well enough to know that he always liked to shower after a long flight before doing anything else, and how long he took to do so. It was the same feeling he got when he grabbed his clothes from the closet, and went out to find Juno just finishing making one of his favorite foods. The feeling of that intimacy; of knowing and being known, and feeling safe in that rather than exposed. It had quickly become a favorite feeling of his, and he didn’t think he would ever grow tired of it.

Over dinner, Juno told him about an interesting case that had come up while he was gone, and Peter told him about the places he had seen, though he avoided too many details about what he had done there. They had a little agreement worked out, and while he thought it was a bit silly, Juno insisted on not hearing about any new crimes until anything related to them was completely done. No further contact needed, nothing left to fence, etc. Something about “plausible deniability” and “not being an accessory”. It was cute, honestly. And it made what Juno brought up next that much more surprising.

“Hey, do you uh... do you have your next job planned yet?”

“No, though I do have a couple that I’m considering. Why?”

Juno poked at his food and worried his lip, and Peter waited patiently. He knew sometimes his lady needed a little time to get out what he wanted to say.

“I was just thinking... I don’t know. It’s been kinda slow around here, that last case not included, and I was thinking I could use a change of scenery. Not necessarily a vacation, just... something different. So I thought, if you didn’t mind...”

Peter could feel his smile stretching wide across his face, and was powerless to stop it. His heart leapt.

“Juno? Would you like to come pull a heist with me?”

Juno looked up, and Peter’s breath caught at the spark in that bright blue eye.

“Maybe. We make a good team, after all.”

“That we do. And I would certainly love to have someone as skilled and clever as you by my side.”

Juno started to blush, but held Peter’s gaze and smirked.

“Well then. Sounds like we have a trip to plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last huge thank you to everyone who participated in the mini-bang, and to everyone who read and left kudos and comments. Your kind words and encouragement mean so much, and I'm so grateful to all of you. <3

**Author's Note:**

> And here is the link to that wonderful art that I seriously love just, so much. You have no idea.  
> https://queenkamukura.tumblr.com/post/182716228765/its-penumbrabang-time-i-was-paired-up-with-the


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